Long Distance Relationships

I’m starting to consider Fridays to be deep thought day on the blog.

Okay… maybe I’ve only had one real deep thought that came to mind for a Friday post, but regardless. I have another today!

I thought it might be a good time to talk a little bit about long distance relationships. I mean, why not? And that’s a little deeper of a conversation than my Whole30 and gym sessions. Or at least, I hope so.

Anyways, as many of you have probably realized by now (or read in my About Me page), my boyfriend is in the military, and has been literally the entire time we’ve been in a relationship. In other words, I’ve been in a long distance relationship for ages.

(New Year’s Eve ’09)

Okay, fine.

Not quite.

We just rounded the corner on year 3 back in November though. It sometimes FEELS like ages, especially right now since ol’ boyfriend is deployed, making the distance a whole lot farther between us. Remember my many care packages I’ve been sending since the end of September? I was no math major, but I’m pretty sure the trek from D.C. to Afghanistan is a lot further than my usual commute down to Florida to see James when he’s not on a deployment.

So in other words, I’m becoming an old hat at this long distance thing.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you have to be a good communicator. The phone? It’s your new best friend. Prior to entering this relationship, I shunned the telephone. I still hate talking on the phone, unless you’re my mother or grandparents. Or my boyfriend, but that took a VERY long time of getting used to. I’ve always been more of a face to face or write it down sort of person.

That does NOT fly if you’re trying to build a relationship with someone who’s a thousand miles away from you.

(November 2009)

Eventually they want to hear your voice more than every few weeks, and not just your witty email banter (or maybe I just have the speaking voice of an angel, I’m not sure).

You will probably end up traveling quite a lot, as well. Employees at Reagan National Airport here in D.C. have become familiar faces. I recognize flight attendants on my flights now.

Um. Awkward?

At least in my situation, it was a lot more feasible for me to travel than James, so I have done the lion’s share. I haven’t minded at all, but if you’re about to embark on your own long distance relationship journey, know it can be exhausting and costly.. and it helps to have a flexible work environment. 🙂

Being in a long distance relationship has also thrown some new words into my vernacular… words like “patience” and “flexibility” and “what’s Delta’s 1-800 number?” That’s also all associated with being the girlfriend of a Service member, but it definitely applies all-around. There is a whole lot of delayed gratification that comes along with being long distance, and it forces the question of whether or not a relationship is worth the heave-ho of maintaining.

It is 1000% doable, and possible to develop and grow as a couple regardless of the miles, but you have to be fully committed to that person. Otherwise (in my opinion) you’re wasting each other’s time.

And seriously being patted-down by TSA way more times than is necessary. 😉

(September 2011)

I’m thanking my lucky stars that our distance will be ending this spring!

And now it’s time to eat some faux oats and get to work! TGIF!


Are you or have you ever been in a long distance relationship before? If you’re in one, do you agree with my observations?


12 Comments on Long Distance Relationships

  1. Life's a Bowl
    January 20, 2012 at 9:37 AM (6 years ago)

    I was in a long-distance relationship all throughout college… Freshman and sophomore year with my high school boyfriend, we broke up, and then I started dating another guy from home so enter long-distance relationship numero dos! I def think if you have that special connection with someone, nothing should get in the way of making it work, regardless of however many miles or months apart y’all are, it’s worth it in the end… In the moment of it all, it’s unbearable and overwhelming [and def expensive] but I love coming home from work every day nowadays knowing my now fiance will be coming home soon 🙂

    Spring is only a few months away- yay!!!

    • joelle
      January 20, 2012 at 11:07 AM (6 years ago)

      Is your fiance long distance guy #2?

  2. Beth
    January 20, 2012 at 11:04 AM (6 years ago)

    Cute post lady! Such an adorable couple. So happy for you guys that your years of LD are about to be a thing of the past! 🙂

    PS: Completely unrelated – Let me know if you want to go out tonight btw – we’re meeting at Louisa’s at 8! hehe

    • joelle
      January 20, 2012 at 11:07 AM (6 years ago)

      I will!! And thanks.. I’m stoked myself. 😉

  3. katie @KatieDid
    January 20, 2012 at 11:57 AM (6 years ago)

    I’ve never been in one but I can only imagine how much work they take- worth it though I’m sure. That’s exciting that you will be back together in the spring, are you moving down to him or is he moving up towards you?

    • joelle
      January 20, 2012 at 11:58 AM (6 years ago)

      He’s moving HERE! I’m SO EXCITED.

    • joelle
      January 20, 2012 at 8:07 PM (6 years ago)

      No! Just got a new job assignment here in D.C. so he can be with me. 🙂

  4. Debbi
    January 20, 2012 at 4:00 PM (6 years ago)

    But I bet it’s like Christmas morning every time that plane hits the tarmac!!

  5. Jenna | The Paleo Project
    January 21, 2012 at 11:52 AM (6 years ago)

    It takes a really strong, patient and smart soul to be able to do what you’re doing. I’m really impressed. I actually read http://www.longdistanceloving.net, and know the writer {av} pretty well. You should see if she’s taking contributors for her feature “Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder” and do a high light story of you and James. It’d be a nice story!!

    Xo Jenna

    • joelle
      January 21, 2012 at 1:54 PM (6 years ago)

      Thanks for saying that, sweets! And that’s a great recommendation – I think I will contact her!


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