Saying No

Oh maaaaaaaan, you guys! You have blown me away with your comments/messages regarding my last post. I appreciate the warm welcome back, not to mention knowing some of you can relate to dealing with life’s ever changing-ness. You’re the best.



So with the whole break-up/new chapter thang has come a little bit of clarity. Okay, make that a lot of bit of clarity, actually. I’ve taken a renewed commitment to living my life with intent, and saying yes (and no) to things with mindfulness and authenticity. I realized I’d somehow, in the last year, allowed my allegiance to my heart and gut to slip, and let far too many people and things in when they probably didn’t deserve a spot in my life. That’s precious real estate, folks… we all only have so much time each day/week/month/year, and your attentions and commitment should be to all that enriches your soul and helps you further celebrate life. People and things that invigorate you and challenge you and make you better.

And so, this new chapter has begun with clearing out the weeds. Saying NO with intention, and meaning it.

I feel like I’ve heard the term “soul suckers” before in relation to sortaaaa what I’m talking about here, but that sounds a little aggressive, don’t you think? But those people or activities in your life that add stress, or tear you down, or poke holes in your resolve or your spirit (even  subconsciously)? Yeah, those — you don’t need them.

I have always been a big advocate of giving people the benefit of the doubt. I hope for the best and I believe most people are truly good, and like to assume people I’m willing to invest my time in and spill my secrets to are true and genuine and investing their own time back in me, and that even if they make mistakes or disappoint you at times, they’re still worth your patience. Here’s the thing, though, loveys-  eventually, if a person constantly lets you down or betrays your trust, it’s not fair to your own heart to let them stay in your life. Respect yourself enough to walk away.

Respect yourself enough to say no.

Good vibes only, you know?

And ohmigosh, everyone and their mother is always telling you these days to stop doing the things you don’t really shout-from-the-rooftops LOVE, and I’m here to just reiterate that. If working out at 5am is adding anxiety to your life, stop. If talking to your ex is making you sad, stop. If checking social media is stressing you out, stop. If you don’t truly enjoy something (like running or drinking or racing) but are making yourself do XYZ because you think you’re supposed to, oh man – stop. Just. Say. No.

It’s fine. I promise. All of it.

The world will not stop spinning because you decide so-and-so is not worth squeezing into your schedule, or because you no longer want to volunteer after work making care packages for orphans in India. You are not suddenly becoming a terrible human being.

You’re just being true to yourself. And hey- high five for that!

Being almost 29 is a nice reminder to cut the junk out and focus on what matters. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So yeah, I’m saying no….. a lot more than maybe I ever have.

But I’m also yes-ing a lot, too. More on that in the next post, k?


8 Comments on Saying No

  1. LTDfo'Lyfe!
    July 13, 2015 at 10:38 AM (3 years ago)

    Saying “no” to the things you dont need makes room for more important, richer “yes”s 😉

    • joelle
      July 13, 2015 at 10:40 AM (3 years ago)

      Yeeeeeeeeeeeah, girl! Exactly.

  2. Jenna
    July 13, 2015 at 1:04 PM (3 years ago)

    Hear, hear! I hadn’t read your blog in awhile, but I’m glad to see that you’ve come out on the other side of some major changes and taking ownership of who you want to be and what you want your life to be like, including who should be in it. I’ve gone through a lot of that myself these last two years in Cali since moving from DC. It’s refreshing, isn’t it? Onward!

    • joelle
      July 14, 2015 at 2:20 PM (3 years ago)

      Thanks, girl! And yes – so refreshing. Guess we’re adults now? 😉

  3. Steph
    July 13, 2015 at 8:10 PM (3 years ago)

    Wowzahhs!!! All so true – P.S. You should read “The Best Yes” – great book that for the 1st time made me feel like I could say “no” to things – but intentionally say no.

    • joelle
      July 14, 2015 at 2:21 PM (3 years ago)

      Ah, I need to read that! Love you, friend!

  4. Sokphal @ Life as a Classroom
    July 14, 2015 at 12:37 PM (3 years ago)

    Amen gurrrl! Time is precious! This I’ve learned the older I get. Someone once told me “the days are long, but the years are short” – UM, it’s almost August which means it’s almost fall, which means PUMPKIN TIME! Where the hell did the time go?! Time flies – only let in people who will lift you UP in your life and see movies that will bring you joy. Like Magic Mike XXL. 😉 You can’t say yes to everything – that’s the equivalent of junk miles!

    • joelle
      July 14, 2015 at 2:21 PM (3 years ago)

      Oh amen to that – junk miles for sure. And now you have me SO excited for pumpkin stuff (nevermind that it’s 80-something degrees out today).


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