Posts Tagged ‘real talk’

Paleo Recharge – Week 1 Update

Hiya. Soooooooooooooo week one of my Whole30?photo

(Pssst- those were baked sweet potatoes, not fried, and were not made with any icky oils.)

I ate some great food…. And now, it’s kinda, sorta, completely over.

Um. Yeah.

I hesitate to tell you all this, lest I look like a butthead, but honesty is the best policy in my book. ūüôā In a nutshell, I ended up getting sick Friday (some weird bug that’s been going around) and was crazy nauseous through Saturday, and as a result, finally caved and ate some gluten free bread.

Is anyone rolling their eyes? WHOA, GLUTEN FREE BREAD – getting wild up in here.

I have to tell you, I was sitting there, head in my lap, debating if the world would end if I had to eat a piece of toast to try and settle my stomach Saturday afternoon, and realized that was absolutely ridiculous – personal health is more important than any voluntary diet challenge you put yourself on. I mean, duh? SO, eating the gluten free bread did not make the world stop spinning and I doubt most people who read this blog will really care, but it does pretty much kill the entire Whole30 thang….. all bread is off limits per official¬†Whole30 rules (even if gluten free, because it’s still made with rice.. or at least the one I ate was), and oh did I mention I put peanut butter on that bread? Double rule breaker, but when you feel like puking, the last thing you want is meat on top of meat, or even eggs, and you don’t care about some arbitrary rules other human beings created… sorry I’m not sorry. And it did make me feel better! ¬†Hallelujah.

Breaking the rules means I would/should have to restart my Whole30 altogether, to complete¬†it with¬†the full integrity of its design, aka change my life and my eating habits completely, to¬†set myself up onto a clean path for a new Paleo life…. and frankly, I’m not interested in that.

Let’s back up for a sec. I really decided to even do this Whole30 at all because I wanted a kick in the butt to eat more protein and veggies, and become less reliant on toast and Luna bars as a snack as of late… not to actually switch over to lifelong Paleo eating. You guys already know that. So not doing a Whole30 after one week in is not a huge deal, other than it makes me feel like a jerk to say I’m going¬†to do something and then get derailed. BUT¬†I’m not throwing away the intention behind that Whole30 challenge! That’s the important part.

For the rest of this¬†month, I’m sticking with the main principles that tend to guide Paleo lifestyles:

  • No sugar
  • No dairy
  • Limit/eliminate processed foods (i.e., keep things as natural as possible – including no artificial sweeteners or soy products)
  • Limited alcohol (which I already try to be mindful of¬†anyways)
  • Focus on protein and vegetables/fruit

……..Plus¬†my own modification (a reflection of what’s already occurred): gluten free grains. I think that’s totes (and yes, I really just wrote out “totes”)¬†fine, considering my goals here. This means rice, quinoa, gluten free oats…… And that doesn’t mean I will be doing cartwheels with¬†gluten free desserts or processed gluten free snacks. ¬†ūüôā I’m not trying to cut corners in order to¬†eat junk that’s still junk, regardless of white flour being involved or not, and I honestly never had an “addiction” to sugar in the first place, which is what a lot of Whole30 official language seems to be focused on breaking.,,, I am keeping a big focus on eating natural, whole foods, which is still at the heart of the Paleo movement.

This will work for me, and makes me feel less like a stinker for breaking my solidarity¬†with all you Whole30-ers/Paleo diehards out there this weekend…. especially after freakin’ Instagramming my Whole30 day-in-the-life for The Eighty Twenty on Friday. I couldn’t have predicted I’d get sidelined by a virus, and I’m not at all regretful for¬†breaking it in order to, ya know, not puke on my boyfriend. So, there’s that.

All that being said, I made a big crockpot full of my fav Paleo chili yesterday, and I bought approximately 1 million eggs + veggies at Trader Joe’s on Sunday, so I’m totally ready to rock this week and keep my eyes on the {good health} prize.

OH! And on a completely unrelated note, I’ve started (as of Sunday) taking a biotin supplement at the recommendation of my hairstylist. I’m trying to urge my hair to grow – it’s been such a stinker the past few months since I chopped off those 10 inches, and taking entirely too long to grow out. We’ll see what happens!



Anyone else trying to eat healthier this month? Or have you tried Biotin or anything else to grow your hair?? Do tell.


Do the Tough Stuff


First things first. Yesterday, I made mashed sweet potatoes for the first time, and it made my life. I also went to an information session for¬†a nursing program at a local university. I’m¬†not applying quite yet, but I¬†wanted to do some intel…. nurseI’m still mulling over my options and feeling my way through my pre-reqs to make sure this is the path I want, but being more informed is never a bad thing, right?

AND I was really proud of ¬†my¬†outfit, and basically no one got to see it.¬†I mean, except my dedicated Starbucks baristas (who don’t know I’m doing ¬†a Whole30, and still want to serve me my usual – a soy misto, aka coffee with a lot of steamed soy milk). Usually I’m wearing spandex, so, ya know, color coordinating my outfit and slipping on shoes¬†other than flipflops (I was wearing booties) feels impressive.stitchfix shirt

New shirt via Stitch Fix (here’s my referral link if you want to sign up!). P.s.¬†I’m not even going to pretend I’m a fashion blogger, so thanks in advance for not laughing at my bathroom selfie (<–hate that word). ūüėČ

Anyways, when I was sitting in the parking lot about to head home from the info session, I started thinking about how sometimes life can seem like you’re on top of the world and have every ace in your pocket, while other times…. it’s like you’re in a muddy hole, trying to dig yourself out in the middle of rainstorm.¬†Sometimes, life is just hard. And messy. And a bit unclear.

Totally not trying to pull a Debbie Downer today, but it’s more that I find it sort of interesting… the rollercoaster.

And there, sitting in my car, being that person that everyone hates in a crowded parking lot because ¬†they take twenty minutes to turn on their car and back out, I began rolling through a slideshow of my life…. thinking about how the good stuff – the great chapters of your life book, the best career decisions, or most worthwhile athletic achievements – often start out HARD. My mind’s eye settled on my life right now, and how confusing and messy it is… how everything¬†I seem to want comes with a million questions and pre-existing clauses.

But our whole lives are bookended by¬†these invisible, seemingly insurmountable goals or dreams. Ones that eventually¬†ARE¬†surmounted¬†(when it’s meant to be). It’s so easy to let the hardness dissuade you from carrying on, or to let the burden of a long or mysterious path to your goal diminish your excitement or ambition, but we can’t let that happen.¬†photo 1


I think that even goes for relationships. Sometimes things seem magical and easy, and other times, not so much. All relationships – romantic¬†and the friend variety – take effort, and can be messy…. and sometimes, they can be hard, even when they don’t start off that way. Everything in life eventually requires some work to maintain, with the exception of love, and relationships are built on more than just that.

Is anyone following this ramble? Bueller? Bueller?

So DO the tough¬†stuff. Fight for what you believe in and what you want. Put in the effort and don’t let anyone tell you what you or do not deserve, or what you are or are not capable of.

Now off of my soap box, and into a pile of mashed sweet potatoes (um, it was too delicious).



Can anyone relate here? Talk to me. ūüôā

On Wrapping 2014 Up With Anxiety and Stress

HI. tumblr_n7nb02EzXe1r3rphco1_1280


Can I tell you a secret?

The past week(s), I’ve been wrangling a stress monster. Stress¬†and his sister, anxiety.

So much so that at the ripe old age of 28, I’ve been experiencing chest pain and exhaustion.

No, you didn’t read that wrong. 28 years old, and stress-induced chest pain.

I know. How is that possible?

When I first started feeling this strange tightness in my chest, I thought maybe I was imagining it. And then, when it kept¬†reoccurring, I started to get nervous. Anxiety popped its head out, and whispered that maybe I had some sort of cardiac¬†problem. I stewed and prayed and silently panicked assuming I was probably going to drop dead any second, until finally – a week and change later – decided to listen to my mother and make an appointment with my primary care physician… aka someone with more education and experience than just the best of Google’s diagnosing power.

I had a cardiac MRI, and turns out my heart is a-okay.

So……………. then the tightness? The discomfort? The anxiety?

Unless I’m a medical mystery, my symptoms are the ugly result of stress.

2014 is coming to a close within a matter of days, and I can¬†tell you right now that it’s been a good year. Not a year¬†that felt soul crushing¬†or particularly hard like others have (cough – 2012 – cough). In fact, it’s been pretty wonderful in a whole lot of ways. But it’s also been a particularly challenging year for me, in the sense that I’ve spent the majority of it feeling professionally stuck and unfulfilled in my career, and beaten down by rotten luck in the job market (like so many other folks). Couple that with some personal relationship trials, and I’m worn out. Burnt out. You know, all the “-outs.” ūüėČ

And now, in the last days of 2014, I just want to hibernate. I’m not unhappy, but just, quite frankly, exhausted.¬†Despite all the blessings I’ve been generously bestowed this year, certain sticking points have remained, and their presence has left my type A self feeling¬†ransacked and lonely and unprotected.

I’ve never been an anxious or nervous person, and I’ve always thrived on stress, and pressure. But this stress situation has felt different, and manifested itself in a unique way. In physical discomfort and mild anxiety. I watched a¬†few¬†close friends struggle with anxiety in college, and not that what I’m dealing with now is anywhere as crippling, I get it.

It is amazing in the worst way what an overactive mind can do. Even when you think you’re “over it,” and you believe¬†you’ve found your zen and your happy place, and¬†have risen above like all the gurus suggest, and you’ve bought enough Starbucks drinks wrapped in Oprah-isms to fool yourself that you’re fine….. well, spoiler alert – you’re not necessarily fine at all. The chest pain is a great reminder of that “not fine”-ness , let me tell you.

I’m writing this, mind you, with no clear solution¬†in sight. I’m going to try adding more yoga into my life, and just keep writing in an effort to let. it. go., but really? I don’t know yet what will do the trick, especially considering I didn’t even realize I was manifesting the stress this much, although I have no doubt that the nonstop, in your face world of social media comparison isn’t helping either.

So, there you have it! Here’s to some Monday motivation for just chilling the heck out.



Have you dealt with anxiety, or how stress manifest itself in your body in real, physical ways? Share in the comments please!