This is a tale about a tiny girl who signed up for yoga teacher training and then realized she didn’t, actually, want to be a yoga teacher.
Oh, hi, didn’t see you there.
Confession: that 8-week/200-hour power yoga teacher training I started last Wednesday?
It was grand. Lots of talk about light and yoga ruling the world. And now, it’s over, one week later.
I very quickly realized that though I love yoga, adore the philosophical musings instructors share in class, and need the reflections I have on my mat, becoming a yoga teacher…. not quite for me.
I prefer to be the student. Not the teacher.
I didn’t know that before, but I know it now.
And it’s a lesson I wouldn’t have known had I not put myself in this situation. I wanted to push myself to a new limit, but instead it turned out this wasn’t my limit to be pushed…. at least not at this point in my life. Does that make sense?
So a lot of journaling and long phone conversations with some patient people I am blessed to have in my life and emails to the yoga training lead later, and I’m now refunded and back to square one.
Well, not square one. I’m not sure what square I’m at. But I I know something I didn’t about myself before, and THAT, my friends, is a great thing. That’s what life is all about, now isn’t it? Discovering new bits and pieces of ourselves and growing to our potential.
Some would call what I did a mistake. Heck, at first even I flirted with that thought, and really got stuck in my own head weighing out the pros and cons. But in reality, it’s not a mistake at all. That’s what learning is. (Trust me – the Type A in me doesn’t like hearing that at all.) I mean, don’t teachers say there’s no stupid questions? You have to try and risk falling in order to know where you can get back up again, to run forward faster. Right?
What WOULD have been a mistake would be continuing with yoga teacher training (or anything else, for that matter) that I wasn’t passionate about, and “dialing it in.” At least, in my opinion. That’s the worst… don’t ever do that, please.
When I realized yoga teaching was not necessarily for me after all and I was deciding what to do, a certain someone said something that stuck in my head. I was asked if I didn’t want to continue with the training because it was too challenging, or if, perhaps, it was that I’d signed up because I was searching for something — something I’d now realized could not actually be fulfilled through a yoga teaching certification or a new class or anything of the like. For me, it was the latter, and he said, “Whatever decision you make will be the right one.” <–That’s something my mama also always tells me, which I 100% believe – go with your gut – but sometimes forget (you know, due to aforementioned Type A tendencies that want me to be the best at, well, everything).
SO, that’s the story! Sometimes you have to take (expensive but hopefully refundable) chances to understand yourself better.
Tell me: Ever make a similar “mistake” that taught you more about yourself?